T-shirt #249: New Jersey Devils 1995 Stanley Cup Champs

This shirt is a donation from my friend Christi (thanks again!), and I knew I had to wear it before the hockey season started. I hope seeing me in anything other than a Bruins shirt wasn’t too shocking to anyone!

This shirt reminds me of May 1995, and the first round playoff series between the Bruin and Devils. The series started on May 7, 1995 and the Bruins lost 5-0. I was in the middle of finals and at the peak of my problem drinking, and consumed everything alcoholic that was in the apartment. Like the Bruins had played, I just didn’t care anymore.

The next day, my friend Drew came to the rescue. I hadn’t thrown up that much and after seeing all the empty bottles, Drew was pretty sure I had alcohol poisoning. He took me to the hospital, and they gave me charcoal to soak up the rest of the alcohol. My parents came to see me in the hospital and although I had already given them plenty of reasons to yell at me because of my drinking, they only showed support and love. My doctor and parents both wanted me to go to rehab (which I had been to a year earlier), but I had no desire to. I did realize one thing: If I didn’t want something like this to happen again, I had to stop drinking.

With a bad attitude, I told my parents I would go to McLean’s, but wasn’t going to put any effort into recovery. I think I was more pissed at myself than anything else. When we got there, my attitude changed. I realized I had to try and get something out of it while I was there, and told my mom everything was going to be okay. Unfortunately, the Bruins’ fate was out of my control.

As I continued my rehab, the B’s fell down 3 games to 2. My father came to visit me one day with really bad news that reminded me hockey is just a game (yeah, I said it). While I was in the hospital getting treated for my alcohol poisoning, a friend of mine had passed away. His name was Justin, and I had met him three years earlier while we were both getting treated for cancer. He was a great, bright, funny kid and we would request to be in the same room when we were in the hospital at the same time. Justin had asked his mother to call me so he could see me when things started looking bad, but I was too busy being stupid and selfish in the ER. Shocked by the news, I threw the closest chair I could find and retreated to my room at McLean’s.

I knew I would never be able to forgive myself for not being there for Justin, but I also knew that I couldn’t let drinking prevent me from being there for someone again. At one of my inpatient AA meetings, another struggling alcohol abuser said something that made my future with drinking certain. The 30something-year-old said “My name is _______, and this is my 8^th time in rehab.” I told myself I never wanted to say that, ever. And I knew there was only one way that was going to happen: never drink again. And, I haven’t.

On May 14, I was one week into rehab and the Bruins were playing the Devils in game 5. It was the last official hockey game at the Boston Garden, and the Bruins lost 3-2. Adam Oates score the last goal (see picture by my dad), and the Devils advanced to the next round. Although the Bruins (like they had every year of my life) failed to win the Stanley Cup, I finally won my two-year battle with drinking. Looking forward to the Bruins finally coming through for me and my family…

T-shirt #4: Rangers Suck!

3 cool things about this shirt:

1. I made it

2. It’s anti-NY

3. I’m wearing it to work tonight

The funny thing is, #3 is almost part of a requirement for my job. And no, my job is not to spread anti-New York propaganda (note to self: look into ways spreading anti-New York propaganda could be a job). As some of you know, I work with cancer patients. I work at Hope Lodge in Worcester (pronounced “Wustah”, as my father assured the luggage dude in Florida during our family trip to Disney), MA. It is a house run by the American Cancer Society and provides lodging to people from all over who are in the middle of cancer treatment at local hospitals.

Although my title is “Night Manager”, I like to think of it more as “Night Keep-The-Guests-Laughing and Counsel When Needed Guy”. And, I know this shirt will make them laugh. Luckily, what also makes them laugh is watching me watch Bruins games. And I know what you may be thinking: You get to wear that shirt and watch a hockey game, and you call it work? I know, it’s pretty awesome, isn’t it? Last night, I played Mario Kart on Wii with a guest and watched football with another. It is fun, and it is rewarding.

There are the “less than fun times” too. Guests usually ask me how I came into this job and I tell them my cancer story. It was four days after my eighteenth birthday, and I was having really bad headaches and double vision. After being examined by the fourth doctor (my eye doctor, two more eye doctors, and finally an ophthalmologist-neurologist), my mother and I were just about getting up to leave. My mother asked him, “Should we just call if his headaches get worse?”

He looked at my file and said, “Headaches?” as if somehow he did not know one of my two major symptoms.

He ordered an immediate CAT-Scan. I remember seeing a sticker on the machine that had a cat looking through a magnifying glass and saying “Don’t worry, it’s only a “cat” scan!”. Reeeeeeaaaal f’n funny, I thought. After about 15-20 minutes of scanning, the technician came into the room, took a headrest piece away, and told me to lean my head back because the doctor wanted more pictures from a different angle.

I knew I was screwed. I knew there was no way the doctor would not want more pictures if there was nothing there. Every swear I knew repeated through my head over and over again. I think I even made a few new ones up, and mentally told the “Only a ‘cat’ scan” cat to f- off many times. Then, I thought of my mother. I knew I was going to have to be strong for her.

As I exited the x-ray room, the look on her face confirmed my thoughts about the second order of pictures. They had found a tumor in the middle of my brain that was pushing on my optic nerve. She was trying not to cry, and I made sure she didn’t. I smiled, and I told her everything would be okay. The weird thing is, I knew it would. I took that moment and knew I could not and would not let my new set of circumstances let me down. Besides, they weren’t even sure it was cancer.

A few weeks later, the doctors were still not sure it was cancer. So, they ordered a biopsy. As I waited with my parents to meet the surgeon, I had to fill out and sign many release forms in order for the operation to be done. One said, “As with all brain surgery, there is a chance the patient may undergo a severe personality change after the procedure”. Without even thinking, I showed this line to my parents and said, “Yeah, you guys wish!”. We all laughed. I had a tumor in my head and we were waiting to see a brain surgeon, and we were laughing.

But, I ended up not needing the surgery. The doctors found a marker in my blood that told them what kind of tumor I had. Bad news, it was cancerous. Good news, it was a treatable kind that responded well to chemotherapy and radiation. Funny news, the cancer cells in my brain were the same kind of cells that are in testicular cancer, proving beyond a doubt that I am a dickhead.

The course was to be 4-6 rounds of chemo followed by radiation. A neighbor of mine, Dr. Thomas (affectionately referred to as “Dr. Bob”), happened to work at the same hospital I was getting my treatment. The day my chemotherapy started, he came into my room to visit me. He told me he had read studies that said cancer patients who visualize during treatment have higher success rates. So, that day, and every other day I got chemo (VP-16, bleomycin, and carboplatinum in case you were wondering), I watched it go from my IV into my arm and pictured it traveling through my veins up into my head and killing the cancer. And I was merciless with my visions. Seriously, the cancer had no chance.

These visualizations and trying to laugh daily, along with the support of my family and friends are the reason I beat cancer. I watched a funny movie just about every day, and eventually had my mother quoting This Is Spinal Tap with me. My family and friends saw there was no negativity or “too bad, so sad” with me and cancer. I’m betting they worried sick privately and with each other, but they did not show it around me.

Don’t get me wrong, there were sucky days. There was the day I was showering and all my hair started falling out. There was the night I couldn’t stop puking, so I drank water just to have something to heave up. There was the day I started playing hockey with my friend and got exhausted after about ten minutes (2 hours at a time until it got dark out was the usual).

But, I made it through. And even made it beyond my doctor’s expectations. After my rounds of chemo were done, my oncology team told me I was done treatment and would not be needing radiation. They had no explanation as to why, they just said it was all gone. And it was. And has been ever since.

Even though sharing my cancer story with guests is on the more serious side of how things usually are at Hope Lodge, it seems to inspire some of them. And, there are parts of it they (and you, I hope, as you read it) find funny. So, I am off to wear this shirt, watch The Bruins game, and hopefully make people laugh. I thank all of you who were there for me then, are here for me now, and took the time to read this…go B’s!!!!

Oh yeah, all you 01581ers, it IS that David Way...

Just need to update that a new guest just asked me to make him a Dallas Cowboys Suck! shirt...sweet!

Intro and T-shirt #1: Bruins Alternate Logo

I have been joking with my family and friends that I want to have 365 t-shirts so I can wear a different one for every day of the year. I have no idea how close I am to this ridiculous goal, but those close to me have been very supportive in helping me reach it. Whenever they see a t-shirt that reminds them of me (usually a sports, Star Wars, or funny shirt like “Titanic Swim Team 1912”), they either buy it for me or tell me where to get it.

Although I cherish every t-shirt that I wear, I have come to realize (through two close friends who recently moved and gave many of their belongings away) that I simply do not need them. But, I can’t just simply give them away. Welcome to my t-shirt blog: I will share a picture of the shirt I am wearing that day along with a story or stories that go along with it. I will see how close I get to 365, and I’ll figure out a way to give them all away to people that need them more than I do. I hope you enjoy….

T-shirt #1: Bruins Long Sleeve Alternate Logo

This will be the first of many Bruins t-shirts along the way, so for today I will write about what the Bruins mean to me most: my family. A week after my parents welcomed their first child into the world (my older brother Jon), the Bruins won the Stanley Cup…on Bobby Orr’s overtime goal…on Mother’s Day in 1970. The Bruins were there when this family started, and have been there all the way until today when I watched (with my mother and two sisters) them beat the Flyers in overtime at the Winter Classic at Fenway…(my father and older brother were actually there).

Here are a few of my favorite family related Bruins stories from 1970-2010, with more to follow when I wear another Bruins shirt.

1. In 2008, my Crohn’s Disease landed me in the hospital for the first time since I was diagnosed in 1988. Without thinking twice, my father picked me up at around 3AM and took me to the ER. After hours of waiting and tests, pokes, and prods, the doctor explained to me that they weren’t sure if I was going to need more surgery, but they were definitely admitting me through that night. He explained some possible scenarios, and asked me if I had any questions. My one question: “Will I be able to watch the Bruins game tonight?”

He laughed and replied, “That’s your question?”, and I assured him it was really the only thing I cared about. Afterall, it was Bruins-Habs game 6 and the B’s needed to force a game 7. The Bruins won, I did get to watch the game, and my dad gave his tickets up to be with me in the hospital.

2. The day after I turned 21, my father took me to a Bruins-Rangers game. Like many games, we got there early so my dad could take pictures of warm-ups. I positioned myself right up against the glass so I was in the line of vision of the Rangers players taking their first turn of their warm-up skate. Mark Messier took the ice and I focused on him, hoping he would look at me as he made his turn. When we was less than five feet from me, he looked right at me and I instantly flipped him off. He looked startled, I smiled, and could not wait to tell my father. I also met Denis Leary after the game.
3. One of the many things I love about my mother is watching Bruins games with her. Many times when I was in high school, we would have a bunch of friends over to watch Bruins playoff games. My friends that had not watched a game with us found out very quickly from my mom that it is okay to swear during a Bruins playoff game. Also, if the Bruins scored first, you better believe you were sitting in that seat for the rest of the game. She also made popcorn one playoff game that the Bruins won, and that became a tradition she continued all the way to today...which I’m sure it contributed to the Bruins Winter Classic OT win.