Thanks to this donation from Foul Mouth Shirts (http://www.foulmouthshirts.com, http://www.foulmouthshirts.com/New-Shirts/I-ONLY-SLEEP-WITH-THE-BEST-T-SHIRT.htm) my mind is faced with many choices and is drawn to many places. Because I watched Little Miss Sunshine recently, I was immediately reminded of the scene with "Grandpa" giving his grandson Dwayne advice: (can’t find the clip online…)
Grandpa: [to Dwayne] Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women.
Richard: Okay, dad, I think we get it.
Grandpa: [to Dwayne] Are you getting it? Is it going in anywhere? No, don't show me the pad. I don't wanna see the fucking pad.
No, I never had such a conversation with either of my grandfathers growing up. I was raised Catholic for f’s sake, where the extent of a conversation about the Birds and the Bees was at best getting a “Let me know if you have any questions about anything, ok?” from a parent.
The Catholic Church teaches that you are not supposed to have sex until you are married. But before you are married, a priest, who can never get married, counsels you on marriage. Then after that, you can’t get divorced. I could go on and on with the far outdated doctrine of Catholicism in many facets of life (if doctrine is even the right word, but you know what I mean), but this shirt is about sex. And no, I can’t honestly say I’ve been a “good Catholic boy” over the years…
I won’t go into the names, numbers, titles, locations, or “legendary status” of my sexual escapades over the years. That’s a chapter in another publication. I will say here that no matter what the details were (relationship status, time together, etc.), I did care about every woman I was with. And no matter where those relationships ended up, I hope all of those females are leading happy and fulfilling lives. In the crazy world of Facebook, I have seen some of them (Facebook friends of mine) post pictures of their weddings/newborns/kids and I am happy to see them doing well. That may sound stupid or unbelievable, but I really do want the whole world to get along. And if I can’t be happy for my exes, what chance does the world have? I just hope no one thinks of me as “The Worst” they were with…